Angry Baby

This baby is Sadie! This baby is my granddaughter. This baby is not angry, but let me explain.

I have two wonderful grandchildren - Weston & Sadie. Weston is an absolute joy. He’s smart, curious, playful, happy. Sadie is also an absolute joy. She’s happy, agreeable, not fussy, and hungry. But I’ll tell you about my angry baby.

For the past year or so, it seems my temperament has shifted a bit. I would describe my older self - and probably others would as well - as patient, friendly, kind, conscientious, etc. But something happened. Maybe in getting older I’ve become more of a grump. Little things set me off. Innocent people driving in traffic put me on edge. I have become stressed, anxious, and a bit too much even for my own self.

I’ve also been working on it - getting help and advice from professionals, reading a lot more, and learning to slow down and breathe. I picked up a book from Thich Nhat Hanh, don’t ask me how to pronounce it correctly. But he has written some solid practical stuff to help people like me going through some tough moments.

In one example about anger, he says that your anger is your baby.

He says that when a parent has a baby and that baby begins to scream or cry, the parental instinct isn’t to aggravate the baby more but rather to attend to the baby. If a parent is in the kitchen cooking or cleaning and their baby in the other room begins to cry like something just happened, the instinct is to go see about their baby. The parent will pick up the baby to soothe her. No good parent allows their baby to cry in hunger or pain and do nothing about it. No good parent picks up their crying baby and makes the baby more uncomfortable and frustrated. But they work to comfort and and quiet the child.

So - think of your anger, your frustration, your irritableness as your baby.

Instead of making things worse when you’re angry by lashing out, swearing, becoming violent, and frustrating others in your circle - attend to your baby. Stop and soothe your baby. Comfort your baby. Learn why your baby is crying in the first place. Don’t scream in your baby’s face.

I now think of my anger as my baby. I want my baby to be like Sadie.